English Rose; Asian Melons

          “What’s your choice of fuck then? Blonde, brunette or red head?”

            I’d woken up split seconds earlier to an early morning inconsiderate brutish whirlwind called Ed, who’d thrown open my curtains and ripped off my duvet. I cowered in the foetal position as he delivered his opening question to me. A hell of a way to awaken.

            My phone rang before I marshalled my thoughts into any kind of response. I snatched it up and foolishly answered without checking the caller ID first. It was my mum.

            “Hello darling!” Another appalling morning person; it’s like they’re a different breed of animal altogether.

            “Hold on a second mum.” I replied. I put my hand over the handset and turned to Ed. “Fuck off,” I told him. Amazingly, after a disparaging head shake, he did.

            “What was that dear? I didn’t quite catch what you said?”

            “Nothing, Mother. How are you this morning?”

            “Oh never mind me. I want to know about that fine young girl of yours!”

            “I told you, we broke up.”

            “But you don’t mean that! You couldn’t. The two of you were so well suited! You’d hardly throw a thing like that away, not when it meant so much to your old Mother!”

            “As I explained, I didn’t have a choice. It was her decision.”

            “What’s the matter with you, boy? Don’t you have any spirit in you? She clearly doesn’t mean it, she just wants you to show a bit of passion: fight for her!”

            “I… that’s not how it is. It’s not up to me. She’s serious.”

            “Well! I don’t believe you. I won’t accept it. Now you go out there and get her back. You’ll never do as well as her again, I tell you! She was out of your league already, a top class girl that one. Beautiful, polite… a respectable job, decent family… what more could you want?”

            “Indeed.”

            I made some excuses and escaped her. I didn’t much fancy moving from that to Ed so I simply went back to sleep, content to fade out into oblivion.

 

*

 

            I eventually got up just after midday and wandered into the living room. Ed was on the computer. As I approached him it became quite apparent that he was looking up escort girls on the net.

            “Ed! Stop that! Someone will trace your IP address!”

            “So?”

            “Well… this can’t be legal, advertising this stuff online… or partaking of it. They’ll track us down and then we’ll have to face all sorts of embarrassing questions. If it got out somehow I’d be ruined!”

            “Don’t be such a bloody fool. Sit down and have a look. Here: which of these two would you rather do? Personally I’m a fan of these jugs here but the face ain’t much, and that matters. Maybe not to you though, eh?”

            I frowned, but I did sit down.

            “Here.” Ed said, offering me a beer.

            “It’s only midday!”

            “Sod that. Today’s no ordinary day and if you continue in your current guise as a mammoth pussy you’ll need it.”

            I reluctantly took the beer.

            Ed had found a rather incredible site. It was incredible not just because it contained countless pictures of stunning semi-clad women, but also because it was so damn brazen!

            “I can’t believe they can get away with this. They’re so obviously selling sex!”

            Ed had a fit of uncontrollable laughter. “You’re such a goddamned fool sometimes. Everyone sells sex!”

            “Fine,” I replied, unamused, “but not like this.”

            “Read the disclaimer then.” He said, and scrolled down to the bottom of the site. It read as follows:

 

Money exchanged for legal UK adult services is for time and companionship. Anything implied or inferred on this web site is not to be taken as inducement for services other than this.

 

            “So these are genuine escorts then? No sex involved?” I asked.

            He laughed. “There you go again! Have you only just been released from the sacrosanct nunnery of your virgin mother? You’re like a woolly lamb sidling up to a carving knife out of friendly curiosity.”

            “Very funny.”

            “Alright, alright, let’s get down to business.”

            “I don’t think so, I’m going to go make lunch.”

            “I’ll have a bacon sarnie. Cheers mate.” He replied, without looking away from the screen.

            I sighed and went off to make us lunch. On my return Ed handed me another beer and we watched some random trash he’d recorded on his TV box. Once done eating we switched on his PS3 and wasted a few hours and a few more beers. Towards late afternoon I felt a little light headed and we gave up on the games. Ed went back over to surf the net.

            “Okay,” he said, “let’s just play a game. If you had to choose one of these girls to fuck, which would she be?”

            I looked through the options.

            “Why are some of them £200 and some £250? In fact, why are they so cheap at all?”

            “In response to the first question, it’s basic economics, right? Supply and demand. The pricier ones are probably dirty as hell. As to the second question, I think you’ll find that’s only the starting price. The rest is negotiated later, if you know what I mean.”

            “I see.” I looked through some more of the girls and noticed a particularly gorgeous looking dark haired girl. She had a classically English appeal with blushing cheeks and deep brown eyes. “I suppose she’d be the one, if I had to.”

            “I knew it! You’re so predictable. She’s dull. I’d go for this one.” Ed pointed out an Asian girl with massive breasts. His English-girl-phobia remained fully intact.

            It was my turn to laugh. “I’m not half so predictable as you!”

            “Maybe in your mind, but I’m genetically unpredictable, which is worth so much more.”

            “Whatever.” I replied, a little tired from drinking throughout the afternoon. “I’m going to lie down for a little while.”

I went back to my room and fell briefly asleep.

           

*

 

            “Time to get up you lazy bastard.” A second shocking awakening of the day.

            “Urgh.”

            “Come on you fucker. I’ve paid for her now so you can’t wuss out. Get in the shower. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

            Ed marched out of my room and I checked my watch. It was seven; I’d been asleep for an hour or so. I felt an appalling mixture of dehydration, tiredness and weak fading drunkenness. I dragged myself out of bed and staggered into the lounge.

            “What do you mean?” I asked. “Who have you paid for?” I was still half asleep and too slow to put two and two together.

            “The English Rose and The Asian Melons.” He replied. “We’re meeting them in an hour.” He stared at me defiantly and grinned, almost sociopathically.

            I was defeated, swept along by Ed’s sheer energy and forcefulness. Besides, as consciousness began to seep back into my brain, it seemed alluring. The danger; the unknown; the exotic, erotic intoxicating lunacy of it made it irresistible.

            I went nervously away to shower.

 

*

 

            “So…” I started, trying to frame my next question. We were on the way to the bar. “…isn’t this sort of thing normally done by men on their own?”

            “Your point?”

            “Well… don’t you think it’s a bit weird your being here too?”

            Ed’s lips curled into a sardonic smile. “What are you worried about Tom?” I frowned. I couldn’t think of a response. “Fancy some double-teaming later?” He added.

            That, I thought, is exactly what I’m worried about.

 

*

 

            We got to the bar before the girls and ordered drinks. We were both dressed in two of my suits. Ed insisted that suits were the only option, and his certainly weren’t up to it. I’ll admit he did look good wearing proper clothes.

            After around twenty minutes they walked in and went to the bar. The English Rose briefly glanced about. They didn’t order any drinks.

            “Right,” said Ed, “let’s go.” He walked off ahead. I followed, my heart in my mouth. I looked about and felt as though every person in the room were staring at me, in full knowledge of my lascivious intentions. Ed looked confident, as though he were meeting them by right. Indeed he did have a right. He’d paid. I envied that poise.

            “Good evening ladies.” Ed said, extending his hand to Asian Melons. She took it and then pulled in closer for brief embrace, as though they were long lost friends.

            I raised one hand awkwardly, almost waved (I cringe to think of it), looked at English Rose and said hello.

            “Hi there. I’m Evelyn.” She smiled serenely and held my gaze without the slightest hint of shyness of embarrassment over the circumstances. After a further awkward tongue-tied moment by me she pointedly glanced across at the bar. Thoughts began to arise in my befuddled head and all at once I understood.

            “C-c-can I get you a drink?” I was all too enthusiastic. The whole thing was excruciating. The second I faced away from them I pulled all kinds of insane faces, trying to work the madness out of my system. Why was I there?!

            I returned with drinks for everybody and found the girls sitting on either side of Ed at a nearby table. He was laughing and massaging Asian Melon’s thigh who didn’t appear in the least put out by it. She was laughing too.

            Evelyn managed the conversation with me, leading me from one thing to another. She was actually from Estonia though she spoke perfect English. She had come over to study. I somehow didn’t ask what. She ran through so many classic seduction moves, flicking her hair back, leaning in towards me, occasionally brushing my skin with her fingers. I could smell her alluring perfume and could almost feel the softness of her cheek so close to mine. I fell so far into the fantasy as I sat there by her side that I almost forgot how it could be so.

            After a time I left for the bathroom and upon my return discovered that Ed had invited them back to ours for a drink of ‘the nectar of the Gods’ - cue: giggling by Maya (Asian Melons).

           

*

 

            On the way back to our flat, in a taxi, I leant across to Ed. “Ed… I haven’t sorted out my room; it’s a total state.” I said, under my breath.

            “That’s okay Tom,” he replied, out loud, “we can just as easily fuck ’em in the lounge.”

 

*

 

            Once inside the front door Ed wasted no time. He thrust Maya back against the corridor wall and started kissing her, running his hands over her body.

            Evelyn walked calmly past them into the lounge, sultry in her acceptance of the situation. She opened her handbag and pulled out two pills of some type. She beckoned me over. I sat anxiously by her side, neither too close to her nor properly sat back into the sofa. She placed one of the tablets on the end of her tongue and sat up, leaning into me. I realised all too suddenly that she intended to kiss me and pass whatever that pill was into my mouth. With all the will power in the world I managed to stop her.

            “I’m sorry,” I said, “but I can’t. It’ll mess with my medication.” It was the first thing that came into my head.

            “Suit yourself.” She shrugged, swallowing it down. She leant back on the sofa and gazed at me, smiling. “You don’t want me?” She asked, with all the confidence of a girl who knows she’s being rhetorical.

            At that moment Ed and Maya came crashing through and landed on the sofa by our side. Ed’s hands were all over her breasts and had worked one free over her top. She moaned. I looked over at Evelyn who winked at me. She leaned over towards Maya and ran her fingers along the inside of Maya’s thighs. She quivered. Ed noticed and grinned, before returning his attention to Maya’s breasts. Evelyn pulled up Maya’s dress and exposed her panties. She reached a hand inside and Maya jerked her body in response.

            The sight was too much for me. Lust overcame me utterly and I lost all ability to think rationally. I grabbed Evelyn and threw her back onto the sofa.

            “That’s more like it,” she purred.

            I grabbed her hard by the breast and dragged her dress off her mindlessly. I fucked her hard. Right there. Without delay. Nothing could hold me back.

            By my side Ed started taking Maya from behind. He positioned her across the sofa so she could libidinously mingle tongues with Maya, right before me. I glanced across at Ed and he winked at me with arrogant joy. He was master, right then, and nothing else mattered.

 

*

 

            It’s over now. They’re gone. It’s two o’clock in the morning and Ed just went to bed. Before he did I asked him if he’d ever done this before. He didn’t reply, but simply got up to leave. As he walked out of the room he simply said, “Does life get any better than this, Tom?”

            I don’t feel dirty. Not really. Somehow it doesn’t even seem sordid in my head. Shouldn’t it? It bothers me that Ed was there. It bothers me that it doesn’t bother him. I feel a little dizzy, like I’m on the brink of an abyss and I’m losing my balance. If you move out of the realms of the life you’ve always known, how will you ever know where the limits are? How will you know what’s real?

            The worst part is that now, at the end of it all, I realise that the only thought that never left my head all night was that I’d have given up every part of that incredible sex for one moment spent with Annabell in certainty of her commitment to me.

            As I fucked that girl, Evelyn, I saw only Annabell…