Mr Bassman

“Nothing that you do will ever feel good if you let people convince you that you have no choice.” – Fiona Apple.

 

          Until today, I hated karaoke.

            Robin tried to talk me out of it, when we called him last night to tell him his part in today’s adventure. In the end he relented. As straight-laced as he is, his one weakness is singing. He’s always been a talented singer and as time went on he began to get into sound engineering, on a hobby-sized-scale. This was too much for him to resist.

 

Hey Mr Bassman

I’m asking just one thing

Will you please teach me

Yeah, the way you sing

‘Cause Mr Bassman

I wanna be a Bassman too!

 

            You have to listen to this song. Since I heard it yesterday I’ve hardly had it out of my head. It’s sung by two different singers, the lead and the bass. The lead singer wants the bass singer to teach him how to sing bass and as they duet the lead singer begins singing his own bass line. It rocks.

            Robin agreed to take the role of Mr Bassman while I would sing the lead part. Ed would simply help set up and generally assist (while I can only sing a bit, he can’t sing at all!).

            Today’s song-inspired adventure was to reproduce ‘Mr Bassman’ by Johnny Cymbal as though we were buskers on the tube. We chose Warren Street. Robin brought over the necessary equipment, including a ready made CD backing track that he’d engineered, removing the vocals and leaving the instrumental. In the end we were able to set off, having rehearsed the song all morning, with only a modest bag each of equipment.

            “Is this entirely legal?” Asked Robin, on the way over.

            “I’m not sure.” I replied. I’d been wracking my brain on the very question all day. After all, it wouldn’t do to break the rules… let alone the law.

            “You pair of pussies!” Ed interrupted. “Just get on with it.”

            By this point far too much effort and time had been invested, so it wasn’t mentioned again.

            We got to the bottom of the escalators at Warren Street and began whipping out the equipment as fast as possible. We knew we’d have almost no time before someone was sent to kick us off. One couple wandered over to enquire about our activity.

            “This man here is a famous busker.” Ed said, pointing to me. “Stick around, you’ll be entertained!”

            By this point my body was beginning to pump with adrenalin. I couldn’t sing to an audience! This was just plain silly. I started to panic. Robin looked across at me and laughed.

            “By the look on your face, you’re feeling the same as me.”

            There was no time to think. We were set up and Ed pressed play. The backing track started and Robin looked across at me, suddenly calm and ready, in the mindset of the performer, like a barrister before he delivers his closing speech. Suddenly he began the bass line:

 

Bah B B Bah B Bah B Bah Bah BB
Bah BB Bah B Bah B Boom Boom Boom

 

            I was amazed, for such a slight guy he could really belt out a deep bass line. It was suddenly my turn. I leapt into it as confidently as I could.

 

Hey Mr Bassman
You've got that certain something
Hey Mr Bassman
You set that music thumping
To you it’s easy when you go 1-2-3
Bah B B Bah B Bha Bah BB

 

            I was nervous for the first two lines but then I got into it. A small crowd of smiling faces began to gather around us. They seemed to be loving it, and anyway, there were only a few of them. We got through a couple more verses and, it has to be said, everyone who got to the bottom of the escalator, bar one or two, stopped to watch us. We were a hit!

            As we got towards the end of the second to last verse we saw a couple of guys from London Underground heading down the escalator towards us. We were too close to cut short prematurely so we carried on. We were really rocking out now, duetting various crazy bass lines that hadn’t even formed part of the original song.

 

Come on Mr Bassman

Now I’m a bass man too!

Bah B B Bah B Bah B Bah Bah BB
Bah BB Bah B Bah B Boom Boom Boom

 

            The LU staff were loving it too, you could see, but they began to signal to us that we had to stop. Ed walked over to them and spoke to them. The song came to an end and Robin and I high-fived, firing on the adrenaline.

            “Yeah!” I shouted.

            “Right, pack up lads and move on. Very entertaining, but don’t let us catch you at it without a license again eh?”

            “No problem,” said Ed, “but just before we go, what’s your favourite song?”

            “I’m not giving you any requests. Forget it.”

            “No, we won’t sing it. Just satisfy my curiosity.”

            Robin and I began furiously packing up.

            The LU man raised his eyebrow at Ed and flippantly replied, “Deeper Underground, by Jamiroquai.”

 

            On the way home we were on such a high. I can honestly say that this was about as much fun as I’ve had in years.

            “And look at this,” Ed said, emptying his pockets, “we made a few quid ‘n’ all.”