Circe

            “Well, they’re both a bit ‘daddy’s girl’ but at least one of them seems interested. It’s just a pity it’s the wrong one,” said Ed, over breakfast this morning. He paused reflectively. “There’s nothing really worth hanging about here for anymore is there?”

            “Well actually…”

            “We’ve seen all the sights, and now the American girls are leaving. They’re going on to Istanbul. There’s really no reason we shouldn’t follow them.”

            “Right,” I said. “It’s just…”

            “They’re catching a flight from Antalya, it’s a airport near...”

            “Ed! Listen to me. There is something to stay for!”

            “What?” he asked, incredulously.

            “Sarila.”

            “What the hell’s that?”

            “It’s the name of the girl. The dark eyed girl.”

            “Ah,” he said, smiling mischievously, “I wondered what you were up to last night, you sly dog. I still think she’s a little young…”

            “Ed… she’s incredible. She’s so… still. The world moves around her and my heart is caught.” I stopped, aware I’d said too much.

            To my surprise, Ed didn’t laugh at me, as he usually would. Instead he looked slightly concerned. “I see you take this seriously, Tom. So I’m going to be serious myself for a moment.” He paused. “Sometimes I wonder at your naivety Tom. It’s not just that she’s on the young side. You have to understand you can’t just come out to a place like Turkey and fall in love with a young hotelier’s daughter. You can’t mess about with a girl like that for she’ll come at a heavy, heavy price. Her father will tie you up before you can blink and suddenly you’ll be working all hours of the day to support a family in Turkey that you never even see. The second you lay a finger on her you’ll find yourself married. Stay clear.”

            “Shouldn’t we be guided by hope and love, not fear? Aren’t we supposed to free, isn’t that the point of all this?”

            “Absolutely, but freedom is the last thing that will come of this.”

 

*

 

            In the afternoon we went to the Temple of Jupiter in town, just for something to do. We were caught in a kind of paralysis about what to do. Girls came between us and neither of us had the grace to withdraw.

            On our return we discovered rather unfortunately that we’d missed the departure of Steph and Beth. Ed was distraught, a little more than I could’ve expected. It would appear he was keener than I’d anticipated. The moment weakened me, I felt guilty that he’d missed them and I agreed we should follow them to Istanbul (they’d left the address of their next hotel), but not until the following morning.

            I had only one more night to see Sarila…

 

*

 

            We met after dinner, once again. Ed saw her first and smiled. He pointed her out and winked at me.

            “Be careful,” he said. He felt relaxed because he knew I’d be leaving soon enough. He didn’t know I had every intention of giving her all my details so that she could come and visit me in England. I couldn’t let a girl like that go, a girl who could pass her fingertips through mine and compress eternity into one moment.

 

*

 

            We went back to the waterfall and stood, a little apart, leaning against two adjacent trees. After a few moments of gentle nervous laughter and tentative brushes of hand against hand I realised I had to try to explain that I’d be leaving.

            “I’m going tomorrow,” I said. I signed an airplane taking off and flying away. She understood straight away and her eyes were downcast. Her dark lashes covered her deep eyes. She didn’t respond. On a whim I stepped in towards her and placed my hand lightly on her cheek. She glance up at me, wide eyed. I kissed her then, breathlessly and passionately.

            After a moment she placed her palm against my chest and gently pushed me away. I looked into her dark eyes and saw the velvet night.

“Tom,” she said, “I… love you.”

The words struck me a full blow. Their effect wasn’t as I might have anticipated however. I felt confused. Suddenly I looked back into her eyes and saw the young girl Ed had described: the girl I could fall for in one night and suddenly be ensnared by forever after. I felt like Odysseus in the hands of Circe, the enchantress. Horror coursed through my veins and I pushed Sarila back.

“I’m sorry,” I said.