Honest Back Slapping

          This morning I was sent to Wycombe Magistrates Court. As I walked in the door my heart was in my mouth, fearing I might see the officer that found me in the early hours a couple of weeks ago. I can’t believe I was so stupid, risking so much over a bit of heartache.

            I was representing a young teenager accused of Grievous Bodily Harm. There was another young lad standing trial with him and he was represented by Jim, another barrister in my Chambers a few years ahead of me. On the train on the way up Jim pointed out that the only link between our boys and the assault was the report of a woman who claimed she had seen them out of her window. This same woman was the mother of the original prime suspect in the case. Her boy had originally been accused but his mother said he was with her the entire night and that she’d seen who’d really done it. Meanwhile, our boys had been interviewed and protested complete ignorance of the situation. The victim himself didn’t know much about it, having been attacked while staggering drunkenly down a dark alley.

            Sure enough Jim tore the case to shreds even as it began. Half way through the case, before either of our boys even had to give evidence, Jim invited the magistrates to dismiss the case and they did. I had barely said a word.

            I walked out of court and explained the result to my boys family and they were positively ecstatic.

            “It was nothing,” I said, “honestly.”

            This elicited a further round of back slapping and praise singing.

            I’m really beginning to like this job.