It's All Just a Joke Really

          I had my second date with Fiona tonight. She texted me last night to sort it out. She couldn’t wait until Saturday. She decided we should go to the cinema. I’m not sure why anyone thinks that’s a good idea, especially for a second date. You spend over two hours sitting next to someone who is more or less a stranger, without being able to talk to them. Fine, you can tentatively try to slip an arm around the shoulders, or glance your hand against theirs, but only if you want to. What do you learn? At least I didn’t have to concentrate for that part of the date.

            After the film we went for a drink. After the compulsory discussion of the film she asked me my plans for the weekend.

            “I think I’m going to be doing a fair bit of packing.”

            “Oh, wow! How exciting! Where are you going?”

            “New Orleans.”

            “Wow, how simply lovely. How long are you going for?”

            “I’m not sure, maybe a month.”

            “What? That long?” she said, plainly concerned.

            “Probably.”

            “I see.”

            “Are you okay?” I asked. She seemed to be acting very strangely.

            “Of course,” she said. I watched her. She drew breath. “That is… not exactly. You could’ve told me.”

            “I could?”

            “Yes. Well, you know. We do matter don’t we? I’ll miss you.”

            “Miss me?” I asked, shocked. “You hardly know me.”

            “I know that, but don’t you feel a connection already?”

Sure, I thought, we really got down to the deep and meaningfuls during that film. “It’s okay, I’ll be back before you know it.” Once I’d said it I wasn’t so sure I needed to be encouraging her.

“Why are you going anyway?” she asked, a little petulantly.

I told her all about the adventures and explained this one. I began to notice, towards the end of the explanation, that she’d become very quiet and was shaking slightly.

“Is everything okay Fi?”

“Okay?” she said. “Okay?” she yelled.

“Calm down. I’m sure there’s no need…”

“There’s every bloody need. How can you talk about pursuing another woman right in front of me? Why would you be so cruel as to flaunt it like that in front of me? I thought we had a good thing going!”

“We’ve only had a couple of dates Fiona! Besides, it’s all just a joke really.”

“A joke!”

“The Sharona adventure I mean!”

“You don’t know what you mean, Tom. We’ll see if Timothy thinks it’s all a joke.” And so saying she stormed out leaving me to get home by eleven.

At least that’ll hopefully be the end of that.